Hey! Do you want to know about something fun! Anxiety! It’s a blast!
Let me learn you a thing or two about social anxiety. If people stare at me, I immediately think there’s something wrong that I’m doing or that they hate me. If people whisper, they are totally whispering about me. If people don’t say or do anything at all, then they HAVE to be THINKING something bad about me, right?! It makes so much sense!
Rwanda is like the craziest immersion therapy of all time.
Rwandans stare all the time. It’s not impolite, it’s not weird, it just happens. I need this tattooed on my arm or something for a constant reminder.
I get freaked out enough in my head when people are whispering around me, but if they are talking in a different language around me entirely?! It’s a long uphill battle in every social encounter to tell myself that no one is saying anything bad, they are happy to have me, they are my friends. But having a translator is always a blessing when I can get one.
Silence. There are so many things that could be read into silence. Rwandans don’t feel the need to fill every silence with mindless chatter. SO instead, I am often silent while my head goes crazy thinking about things that I am doing or have done that are wrong. Things that I should do, things I haven’t done, things I should do more of. It’s a never-ending cycle.
The Rwandan hospitality is one of the most beautiful and remarkable things about this country. It’s normal to go out of the way for your friends and guests. I love doing this for people, always have. One of my friends told me my greatest talent was making her feel too comfortable when she came to visit. Does this mean that I don’t think I’m a burden or putting someone else out when they do it to me? Of course not! That would be too easy!
Everyday I have a war raging inside my head. Sometimes I win a battle and sometime I lose. Help me pray that I start to win more than I lose.
Let me learn you a thing or two about social anxiety. If people stare at me, I immediately think there’s something wrong that I’m doing or that they hate me. If people whisper, they are totally whispering about me. If people don’t say or do anything at all, then they HAVE to be THINKING something bad about me, right?! It makes so much sense!
Rwanda is like the craziest immersion therapy of all time.
Rwandans stare all the time. It’s not impolite, it’s not weird, it just happens. I need this tattooed on my arm or something for a constant reminder.
I get freaked out enough in my head when people are whispering around me, but if they are talking in a different language around me entirely?! It’s a long uphill battle in every social encounter to tell myself that no one is saying anything bad, they are happy to have me, they are my friends. But having a translator is always a blessing when I can get one.
Silence. There are so many things that could be read into silence. Rwandans don’t feel the need to fill every silence with mindless chatter. SO instead, I am often silent while my head goes crazy thinking about things that I am doing or have done that are wrong. Things that I should do, things I haven’t done, things I should do more of. It’s a never-ending cycle.
The Rwandan hospitality is one of the most beautiful and remarkable things about this country. It’s normal to go out of the way for your friends and guests. I love doing this for people, always have. One of my friends told me my greatest talent was making her feel too comfortable when she came to visit. Does this mean that I don’t think I’m a burden or putting someone else out when they do it to me? Of course not! That would be too easy!
Everyday I have a war raging inside my head. Sometimes I win a battle and sometime I lose. Help me pray that I start to win more than I lose.