So, something that I never expected to be unfamiliar, or to be an adjustment, to me in Rwanda is the sheer presence of religion in everyday life. Growing up, I was very active in my church, but my ‘church life’ and everything else was still separate, and the divide only grew more as I got older. Sometimes I’m overwhelmed with how much Jesus Rwandans integrate into their day. For instance, at the YWCA, every work day starts with devotions, as do our choir practices. When I walk into the church, it is expected that I say a prayer. Honestly, outside of Sunday services, I think I intentionally pray on average about 3-4 times a day in Rwanda. A stark contrast to the maybe once-every-couple-of-days-prayer I’d shoot out back home. It’s crazy to me that instead of going out of my way to make time for my faith, it’s just integrated into the everyday here, at work and at home.
During one of our choir meetings, we were discussing ways to sound better, and my friend, Marry, said that what we need to do is pray more and God will take care of our voices and sound. Can you imagine anyone suggesting that back home? Because I can’t, without also imagining a heavy layer of sarcasm or irony. And how messed up is that? I am constantly blown away by the strength of faith in my friends and family here. A couple months ago some of my friends at church started a prayer group. A group of individuals who sit together in a room and pray for several HOURS. One of these prayer sessions were so intense that they all came out of it completely amazed because they felt that they had seen Jesus and that He was with them in that room. Now I like to believe that my faith is pretty strong. I mean, I went straight across the globe to affirm it and live it out, but that is next level.
All of these things have made me analyze and assess the reasons that I feel this way. It could be because I grew up in a metropolitan area, where I have many friends who either don’t believe in God, or who believe, but rarely pray or go to church. It could because society in America is so determined to keep the church separate from every other entity, it could be because having a strong faith is not necessarily ‘cool’ and people are ashamed to live their faith out loud. I’m guilty of these things too. I’m going to tell you a secret… There are times when I feel like a terrible missionary because I’ve had “too much Jesus” in my day, and I crave a break. I feel God in many places and people in my life, but I don’t always acknowledge it or say a prayer of thanks. I never could have foreseen that this would be something I struggle with, and it’s not like I have these thoughts constantly, but they come often enough for me to feel unnerved. I am constantly in awe of the strength of my friends’ faiths and I want to work on this shortcoming of mine as much as I can in my remaining months here.
I don’t have the answers. This post is mostly so that I can put words to my feelings.
During one of our choir meetings, we were discussing ways to sound better, and my friend, Marry, said that what we need to do is pray more and God will take care of our voices and sound. Can you imagine anyone suggesting that back home? Because I can’t, without also imagining a heavy layer of sarcasm or irony. And how messed up is that? I am constantly blown away by the strength of faith in my friends and family here. A couple months ago some of my friends at church started a prayer group. A group of individuals who sit together in a room and pray for several HOURS. One of these prayer sessions were so intense that they all came out of it completely amazed because they felt that they had seen Jesus and that He was with them in that room. Now I like to believe that my faith is pretty strong. I mean, I went straight across the globe to affirm it and live it out, but that is next level.
All of these things have made me analyze and assess the reasons that I feel this way. It could be because I grew up in a metropolitan area, where I have many friends who either don’t believe in God, or who believe, but rarely pray or go to church. It could because society in America is so determined to keep the church separate from every other entity, it could be because having a strong faith is not necessarily ‘cool’ and people are ashamed to live their faith out loud. I’m guilty of these things too. I’m going to tell you a secret… There are times when I feel like a terrible missionary because I’ve had “too much Jesus” in my day, and I crave a break. I feel God in many places and people in my life, but I don’t always acknowledge it or say a prayer of thanks. I never could have foreseen that this would be something I struggle with, and it’s not like I have these thoughts constantly, but they come often enough for me to feel unnerved. I am constantly in awe of the strength of my friends’ faiths and I want to work on this shortcoming of mine as much as I can in my remaining months here.
I don’t have the answers. This post is mostly so that I can put words to my feelings.